The past couple of weeks have been exhausting and crazy. First things first have got "senioritis" or "senior fever". Call it what you may, I am still not a senior. At least I'm not ready to graduate. I'm only a Junior here people. The point is, at the end of the school year I tend to get a little, well maybe not a little, lazy. I don't feel like doing anything, I stop turning in homework, my parents get mad....blah. I just start to feel like a worthless sack of nothingness. That is fine until everything else falls apart.
The next thing that happens; my aunt dies. And no she does not "die" she freaking died, dead, diesss. She killed herself and she was only 28 and a week later she would have been 29. So I freak out, right? I mean I didn't even know her that well. I wanted to. I still do. I wanted her to see me graduate. I wanted her to come to my 18th birthday party. And you know what the really shitty part is? I was in school....still. Yeah I know I had to go to school, but you know it sucks when someone dies. Couldn't they wait to give me all of those end of the year projects? I'm just a kid I can't deal with all this.
The funny thing is I have forgotten a lot about all of that, at least for a while. I sat in my room and watched The Dark Knight; which probably wasn't a good idea considering that the whole time they were screaming, "Rachel!!". (That's my aunts name). Now when I watch things or listen to people, I try not to notice. I started having dreams with her in them. And now that school is over my dreams are stil stress related. I keep dreaming about school. WHAT A NIGHTMARE!
The good thing is, I made it! I made it through the school year (with all As and Bs)!I can finally stare at the wall for a few weeks. I can finally get a job. I can finally...just breathe.
